Two Poems by Maggie Yaddof:

Judgement: the companion of chronic pain

a.sickness.not.seen

dont tell me who i am
you cant say what i will be
you will never know the courage
that it takes to be me.

dont condemn what im doing
dont act like i am not
i dont need you to force me
i can call the shots.

never will i give up on me
your understanding i dont expect
i dont need your approval
im just asking for respect.

stop looking at me at a glance
judgement written on your face
i dont need those darkened eyes
i just need my own space.

i laugh just like you
though inside i may cry
no i am not perfect
because pain is my ally.

i am fighting a war
that you will never see
because this war isnt yours
this war is for people like me.

i dont know what you think i am a liar? lazy? full of deceit? well i can tell you one thing: as a person i am complete.

dont tell me who i am
you cant say what i will be
you will never know the courage
that it takes to be me.

 

My Experience with RA

My life was like a picture
the family, the friends, the grades
but time preserves no image
and soon that picture fades.

Like a cruel dictator
Disease strikes: reasoning unknown
It invades one’s joyous lifestyle
And makes that life its own.

I fight back with what I can
Through bitter tears I weep
And thrash out against this monster
My joy I wish to keep.

On still it beats me down
Weak kneed I lose my grip
And fall beneath my captor
As my strength begins to slip.

My life became a picture
Smile trapped behind broken glass
An image torn and stained
The surrounding world will pass.

Fear glistens in my eyes
Salt streaks my tortured face
Pain piercing a broken body
But then, a moment of grace.

Arthritis can only take
What I offer, I soon will lack
Well I’m giving up no more
I am taking my life back

I am not alone in this fight
We can and will wage war
And put together the lives
That you, disease, have torn.

Pride swelling in my heart
I no longer will be dismayed
You cannot keep me down
Of you, I am not afraid.

We will raise the funds
We will march and march and march
We will speak for all the people
And we will make the charge.

Enemy you will be conquered
Because we do NOT give in
My faith in you is endless
because Our courage comes from within.