What do you want to be when you grow up? Whatever career or profession you choose and regardless of what it takes to achieve your goal, I am willing to bet it will be easier than being officially labeled, “Disabled.”
In my 45 years of living, I have never heard anyone answer that question, “When I grow up, I want to be disabled.” Nor have I ever known of a person to set their sights on becoming disabled at any point in their life. In fact, of all the people I know who have been diagnosed or have legitimate reasons for qualifying for disability, they deny or avoid the label for as long as possible.
From my earliest years, I was raised with the mentality, if I wanted something, it would not be given to me. Early on, I was taught to set goals then work hard to achieve them.
My work career began at a young age with a paper route, mowing grass, shoveling snow and baby-sitting. At 14, I lied about my age so I could work with my friend in a catering business. When I was able to obtain a work permit, I held typical teenage jobs in restaurants, grocery stores or wherever I could to make a buck. As I worked the non-glamorous jobs, I realized the value of an education or training and seized every opportunity to broaden my mind and skills. Following my high school graduation, doors were opened and I was given the opportunity to expand my future with experiences and further education. When diagnosed with rheumatoid arthritis at the age of 21, I continued to work hard, changing directions whenever necessary to adapt to my abilities.
As my arthritis worsened and the need for medical care increased, I found it harder to maintain fulltime employment. In order to satisfy my employers, I extended my hours to make up for my absence or changed jobs withholding the details of my health. When asked about a limp or noticeable challenge, I often fabricated the truth with little white lies.
Why? I wanted to work to contribute to my family and our lifestyle. Not to mention, I had invested a lifetime of hard work and dedication to become that person and I refused to let a disease rob me from my identity. Being disabled was never on my list and was not something I worked toward.
When the reality of my limitations and the loss of my abilities began to interfere with activities of daily living, I was forced to re-evaluate my life and make changes. While the physical challenges were painful and overwhelming, the emotional acceptance was even greater! Admitting the truth to myself, let alone out loud, was and continues to be my greatest pain. I am not ashamed of my disabilities, however, there is an unexplained guilt that continues to surface feeling as though I am not living up to my full potential.
Sound familiar?
While reading Valerie’s post on my blog, “Labeled Disabled,” I am reminded of how difficult it is to file a disability claim. The paperwork in itself is exhausting and causes an emotional pain that nobody is prepared to endure. Having to restate the details of what brought a person to this point and having to prove its legitimacy is beyond draining. To experience this, then be denied – again and again.
Nobody wants to be disabled!
If you have filed for disability, what did it take for you to reach that point and take the appropriate steps? Were you approved or denied? How many times have you filed? Was your doctor helpful or a hindrance? Do you have tips or advice that would benefit others?
Thanks!
I applied for diability my self. It was an excruciating experience. All my life I've minimized my weakness, trying to prove how capable I am. Now on the paperwork, I had to whine about the smallest stuff. Then to have them deny me and tell me I can work low skilled work that wont support my family? It really hurt to have someone tell me I wasn't suffering enough. I feel like the dregs of society
I can't stand up for along time like I used to. My knees and feet hurt too much. Sitting hurts too. My family needs me to keep working. My family Dr. is a DO and says the bumps on my fingers are just a sign of old age.
If it were possible to be considered legally disabled I could at least work part time to help with the bills. I need to keep active but not working 12 hour shifts 7 days a week.
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