The commercials on television say, “Depression hurts.” Then they take it a step further to say, “Depression hurts families.” Do you agree?
As painful as it is to admit, I think some of the commercials portray depression perfectly. A woman on the inside watching people enjoy life on the outside. Or a man sitting in a room, while others are socializing under the same roof.
Depression is a tough place to be and it does hurt! It can make a person feel trapped and mentally paralyzed. People who do not understand depression will often say, “snap out of it,” but it’s not always that easy.
For anyone dealing with a chronic illness, depression is common and it is a condition that can reoccur. It’s a combination of guilt, anger and sadness toward oneself. It is triggered by losses that accompany many illnesses. People who have lost physical strength and abilities often feel inadequate and question their self worth.
I have said many times, “rheumatoid arthritis (RA) robbed me of my identity.” It took away the characteristics I valued. Not only did it rob me once, but it returns and continues to steal from me. I’m sad because of the losses, but I am angry because it takes away my abilities then discards them. It doesn’t use or give them away. It takes because it can. I can fight and do everything right, but in the end, I’m the one with the loss. What a waste!
Years ago, depression was stereotyped and people denied being depressed because society made it shameful. The diagnosis of depression (associated with chronic illness) no longer carries the same stigma. Research shows our body chemistry changes and chemical imbalances cause depression.
Having a good relationship with my medical team, I rely on their knowledge and candor. Due to the aggressiveness of my disease and the rapid changes in physical abilities and lifestyle, we had regular discussions about my emotional well-being. Regardless of their reasoning, I always refused anti-depressants, claiming I didn’t need them.
One day, I met with a visiting cardiologist. He was an elderly, Italian man with a very strong accent. He walked into the office, introduced himself and began to review my chart. After several minutes, he let out a loud, “Ay, yi yi! How many happy pills do you take in a day to keep going?” Laughing [and surprised], I said, “I don’t take happy pills.” He exclaimed, “WHAT? After reading your history, I need a double dose of mine and I’m not the one living your life!”
For the next 30 minutes, he spoke to me in a caring way, as if he were my grandfather. He explained: Chemical imbalances are normal and a by-product of my experiences. We talked about the body’s reaction to the drugs and he reassured me, depression doesn’t last forever when it’s treated correctly.
When I told my friend, Deb, about my appointment, she asked these questions:
• If a doctor diagnosed you with diabetes, would you take insulin? Yes.
• When you were diagnosed with RA, did you take the treatments? Yes.
• Then why do you refuse to treat an imbalance caused by your disease?
Deb was right! Treating emotional pain should not cause shame. The ups and downs of a long-term or chronic illness are real and impact our lives, as well as those around us.
Have you battled depression? Are you reluctant to seek help or take medication to treat it?
1)Tell doc yr open to trial & want info on types & effects(good/not so good)of each on pts w/yr diagnosis (ex: SSRIs vs SNRIs). Ask why he/she thinks this med can help you.
2)Always read product lit 1st! (w/samples)+ research web: Google name of med(s) & read variety; list words, statements you question. Call mfr 800-consumer hot line(see box/prod lit)for answers. Ask doc next appt. For safety, best results, communicate! NOT time t'be shy - don't know exact terms etc.? Do best you can - they're paid t'figure it out.
One caution: pts can gain weight on ADs(see prod lit "possible side effects") Be certain to ck yr wt 3-6 mos (& thereafter) after starting any AD: Gain=pain for us. Tell doc any gain. If no reaction, be not surprised: wt gain often dismissed if other issues(depression)improved. (Unless doc lives w/chronic pain, can't know what pain more lbs. can add.) Take responsibility for this if it happens. If med working f/you otherwise, try more exercise, better food choices, etc. Eventually discuss med change...don't gain 50 lbs before you act. Closing: Be proactive in making ADs work for you!
Peace & hope to you all, MM