Stuff

Why do we have so much it?

By Annette Beach

I salute the late, great George Carlin.

While I didn’t always agree with his political views, religious beliefs or life style choices, I credit him for being one of the funniest comedians to take the stage.

He had a knack for finding humor in subjects that are not necessarily viewed as being funny. He could take an everyday occurrence and make us laugh – and most of the time, at ourselves.

One of his most famous and my favorite comedy routines was, “A Place for your Stuff.” Why? Because it’s true! The subject of “stuff” is something I can relate to. Just as soon as I point my finger to family or friends, they point their finger right back at me. We’re all guilty of having too much stuff.

He started the routine by asking the audience, “You got your stuff with you?” He’d point out the obvious; guys have stuff in their pockets while women have stuff in their purses. Of course, he twisted it by then saying, some women have pockets, while men have purses; but it was OK because there are many ways to carrying our stuff.

This led to us having stuff in our cars, followed by a description of the compartments and what is found in each. The trunk has a spare tire, tools, blanket, etc., while the glove box has a map, flashlight, sunglasses, etc. He acknowledged stuff is important and would say, “You gotta’ take care of your stuff. You gotta’ have a place for your stuff. That’s what life is all about, tryin’ to find a place for your stuff.

“A house is just a pile of stuff with a cover on it. You can see that when you’re taking off in an airplane. You look down and see all the little piles of stuff.”

I don’t know how many times I heard him do this skit, but I cracked up every time he said, “You gotta’ lock it up. Wouldn’t want somebody to come by and take your stuff, cause they always take the good stuff. Ain’t nobody interested in your commemorative plates. They just want the good stuff, the shiny stuff, the electronic stuff.”

The routine continued with us getting “more stuff’”; stuff we don’t need that’s poorly made, overpriced and stuff we can’t afford. Then he’d say, when we have too much stuff, we buy a bigger house or rent a place to store our stuff. “Storage! Imagine that, there’s a whole industry based on keepin’ an eye on other people’s stuff.”

If you have never heard it, you should do a search to read or listen to the entire routine. I guarantee, you will either personally relate or know someone who has too much stuff. For me, it’s both!

Shortly after buying our house, my husband felt the need to build another garage. After measuring and calculating, he decided on the footage, based on his needs and the use of the space. When it was complete, the garage was filled with his stuff. Within the year, he approached me with an idea to add another section onto his garage, claiming it wasn’t big enough for all of his stuff.

After the accidental death of our uncle, we helped our aunt with his stuff. While reclaiming his personal belongings from various places, we began to notice an over abundance of wrenches. Really big wrenches, little wrenches and all the sizes in between. But not just one big or one little wrench, there were multiple wrenches of the same size. As we gathered them, we’d hear the same explanation from friends and co-workers. They’d say, “When he needed a wrench of a particular size and couldn’t find it, he’d go out and buy it. But he didn’t just buy the one he needed, he’d buy a whole new set because in the long run it was a better deal.” When he accumulated too many wrenches, instead of sorting through them, he’d go out and buy another toolbox.

In other words, he’d “find another place to store his stuff.”

A common saying is, “He who has the most stuff, wins.” Are you in the front-runner in that competition?  Do you have a lot of stuff? Share your stories about your stuff.