As many of you know, there are numerous ways to cope when it comes to dealing with a long term or chronic illness. For most, we use multiple methods depending on the day of the week, the hour on the clock, the circumstances involved, the mood we’re in and the level of our pain/losses.
In the beginning, I was given advice on ways to cope and instructed to use a number of traditional skills. They were all very useful, but not always practical. More than anything, I valued them as learning tools and often modified them to meet my needs.
For example, I cannot meditate with my legs crossed and fingers up. Instead, I sit in a comfortable chair with my legs elevated and go to my ‘happy place’. (See Blog: Mind Over Matter)
Since I deal with pain around the clock and have extreme limitations with common daily activities, every move I make is an ongoing challenge. Because of this, I’ve created a series of coping methods that run continuously throughout my brain and body. (I have been doing it for so long, I really don’t think about it anymore.) It’s like setting a computer program into motion and letting it repeatedly run its course.
There is one method I created and have used for years which has been quite successful, yet until recently, I never talked about it. Over the past few months, it seems to have become a common subject for conversations.
I view my arthritis as the opposing team in the game of ‘living my life to the fullest’. Because this disease craves attention in so many areas of my life, I have established a point system. When arthritis takes something from me, gets attention or people focus on it by feeling sorry for me, the disease gets a point. When I am able to take control or divert the attention, then I get a point.
I’m well aware of the fact my arthritis is winning overall and for that reason, I NEVER look at the total number of points. I simply focus on the challenge before me at that moment.
When I awake in the morning and my body is unable to move, RA gets a point if I choose to stay in bed. However, if I get up, shower and go on with my day in spite of the pain and stiffness, I get a point. (When I take it a step farther, get dress up and put a smile on my face, I get a bonus point.)
On the days when the pain is intense and people can see the suffering in my eyes, I get a point when I simply acknowledge I’m having a bad day, then immediately change the subject to something positive and uplifting. If I dwell on it, arthritis is getting attention and gains a point.
Any time I am able to counter an ‘arthritis negative’ with an ‘Annette positive’, I get a point. This may seem like silly victories to some, but nevertheless, it gives me the opportunity to feel like I’m beating the beast living inside of me. Not too mention, it allows me to fulfill some of my competitive nature and still be a player.
Like I said before, this disease if far ahead with points. It has taken physical abilities from me that I’ll never regain. It has given me memberships to various health care facilities rather than the sports clubs I prefer. It interferes with my daily plans and makes decisions for me that I do not like. But as long as I do not focus on the overall war and recognize there are battles I CAN win, then I gain a point. And that’s a reason to celebrate!
Do you agree with my point system or do you think I’m nuts? What coping methods work the best for you? Have you created something that works?
