In last week’s “Home Improvement” blog (9/9/10), I described a renovation project and expressed the heartache of not being physically involved as a result of the limitations caused by my arthritis. The project is underway and so far the humor outweighs the pain.
So I thought I'd share my new lifestyle with ya’ll and hopefully enlighten your next home improvement project. Before describing our homestead, I need to confess a personality trait you’ll have to keep in mind as you read. I have an obsession with being organized that drives people crazy! Not only does everything have a place, things have to be positioned just right or I will adjust and rearrange until I’m satisfied. Friends and family will jokingly move an item on the coffee table to see how quickly I react. This renovation will challenge my patience, tolerance and discipline.
Last Thursday, my husband and I started renovating our living room and hallway. Don tore out the carpet in an attempt to restore the original hardwood floors while I will remove wallpaper, paint, clean, redecorate and anything else that can be done to achieve the look we want. It's a major mess, that's proving to be both humorous and disgusting!
Because of limitations and weak arms, I'm pacing myself and doing my part in a non-traditional manner to meet my abilities. For example, having custom made vertical blinds, I opted to save money and clean them myself. If you saw the set up in my bathtub and the stages of cleaning 37 panels, each 84 inches long, you’d laugh! Using a shower bench, angled brushes and wearing casts to secure my arms, I’m putting adaptive equipment to the test! Not to mention, I strung a clothesline across the back patio for drying. In the midst of hanging the wet panels, I ran out of clothespins so I used multi-colored bag/chip clips to secure them from the wind.
The disgusting part is, all these years, I thought the white blinds were suppose to be yellow on one side, but after hand scrubbing them, I'm reminded that many years ago, they were white on BOTH sides!
My methods and attire is self-entertainment at it’s best! Preparing each day for the tasks ahead, I resemble the poor cleaning lady at the end of the Carol Burnett Show in the ‘70s, with my bucket, ratty clothes and hat head.
Over the weekend, I discovered my car had a flat tire. Because of the location of the nail, it’s not patchable so I had to buy a new tire, but of course it's not in stock and had to be ordered which will take an additional three to five days.
Having said all of this, my house is starting to resemble the home of rednecks! If you drive by, you’ll see my car is up on jacks missing a wheel; worn and stained carpet is piled in the driveway; the front porch is stacked with supplies and tools; rope, clothes pins and colorful chip clips line the back patio; the doors are covered in plastic; and there are bed sheets covering our front window.
Noticing my flat tire Sunday morning right before church was perfectly timed and gave new meaning to becoming a true redneck. Since my husband was playing worship and already left, my options were to skip church or drive my son’s older model, 5-speed, pick-up truck. Choosing the latter, I got into the driver’s seat and pulled the door. When it bounced open, I remembered the hinge was bent and the trick was to pull up while closing – but not with my arms! After three unsuccessful attempts of slamming the door harder, I decided to strap the seatbelt tight and drive with the door hanging, shouting “whoa” each time I turned left.
I’m not sure if my obsessive-compulsive disorder will survive this renovation, but the laughter gives balance to the heartache and the memories are priceless!
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