When arthritis gets me down for a period of time, whether it’s a long-term flare or recovering from surgery, my husband rolls his eyes, repeatedly exhales heavy sighs and paces for days! The quieter I am, the more nervous he gets. It’s not because he’s feeling my pain … it’s because he knows as soon as I’m up and about, it will be his turn to experience backaches and joint pain – of a different kind.
How many of you have been stuck on a couch or in a bed for extended periods of time? Does boredom cause you to count the flaws on the walls, the nicks in the paint or cringe and ask yourself why you chose that hideous wallpaper? Are you reminded of the years that have passed since the room was painted or the carpet cleaned? Are you impressed by the cobwebs durability and wonder how long they’ve been there? Do you envision a recovery room with more windows or resembling paradise?
If so, then you know where I’m going with this!
My husband comes from a talented family of handy men and women. Extremely gifted and capable of doing it all! They can do everything from painting to wiring, plumbing, building, replacing – you name it! Our home is filled with memories of hands on projects and repairs, which is why my husband dreads down time. After my 32 operations and 24 years of arthritis flares, he’s fully aware of how MY boredom will keep HIM busy!
Being part of a family who works together to make a house a home, over the years, I’ve gained experience and learned how to do all sorts of jobs. The “how tos” are not the problem. These days, I struggle with getting the job done!
A few years ago, I attempted to paint our average size living room and hallway without help. Having an idea of the look I wanted and pacing myself, I approached the job with a mentality of pride and accomplishment, rather than a chore. After 37 days of frustration and battling the strains of arthritis, I gave in and asked for help. It was a painful defeat because of the reality and truth.
Arthritis has limited my range of motion and abilities to such an extreme, when it comes to home improvements I’m unable to perform some of the simplest tasks. I use to have ‘time’ on my side, but not any longer. Now the challenge is more emotional – getting started, knowing I will not be able to finish. My arms have become weak and brittle to the point of permanent damage with simple movements, requiring added caution with every move.
While recovering from my last operation, I did a complete renovation in my mind and decided my husband should tear out the carpet in our home and restore the original hardwood floors. In addition, walls will be painted, wallpaper stripped and the spiders will become homeless.
Soon, this project will be underway – he’ll do the labor and I’ll be the Supervisor (grin). We make a good team and we’re excited, but our hearts ache knowing I’ll have limited involvement and even less hands on. After reviewing the final plans, my husband expressed his sadness about my role and the loss of not being able to work together as in years passed.
Has arthritis caused you to step away from jobs you once enjoyed? If anyone has tips or suggestions for home improvement jobs, please share. I welcome your thoughts, experiences and gadget ideas for making the job easier and reducing the risks of arthritis pain.
I had to sit on the sidelines this summer and watch while my husband painted the outside house trim. I am now the supervisor and not the worker which causes emotional pain and frustration.
It takes great mental discipline to keep the negative thoughts out of my head but that is how I cope. I can easily backslide into a very foul mood if I don't control what I choose to think about.
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