It goes without saying pain is everywhere and I’m willing to bet, a daily occurrence in most lives! Whether it’s caused by an illness, a personal matter, stubbing a toe or mosquito bite, pain is a part of life!
Pain is the most common symptom of any form of arthritis and typically the reason for seeking medical attention. It’s the part of our disease we despise!
Reviewing past blogs, I was surprised to find the word “pain” is only in one of the titles, yet the subject can be found in almost every entry. Most will agree, there’s no shortage of pain when talking about arthritis!
In a recent blog titled, “Managing Pain,” I addressed pain by definition and shared a visual technique of how I taught myself to tolerate it on a daily basis as a means of avoiding medication. Last week, I wrote, “I’m good. How are you?” and explained my standard answer in an attempt to be courteous (but not necessarily the truth).
Today, I want to know, what is your natural reaction to pain? Do you express your pain or keep it to yourself? If it’s expressed, are you verbal? If so, do you use words or make bodily sounds? What is the volume of your expressions? Do you make gestures in the air or stomp your feet? Have you ever caused more pain to your body by expressing arthritis pain, such as stomping or punching? Do you react differently to everyday pain versus the pain caused by arthritis?
Over the years, I’ve created my own language when it comes to coping with daily pain. Those living in my house and who know me best have gotten used to my grunts and squeals. It’s such a norm that few react or ask if I’m OK. When I spend time with new people, they quickly learn to overlook my gestures and comments, often turning them into laughing matters.
A long time ago, I learned to express my pain out loud (when the timing is appropriate) rather than holding it in. I use the analogy for riding a roller coaster. You don’t have to scream when going down the big hill, but if you can, why not? Have you ever been on a roller coaster and not screamed? It completely changes the dynamics of the ride!
My expressions are not dramatic and they’re not intended to draw attention. They are solely meant for me as a means of coping. In fact, I probably express myself more when I’m alone than in the presence of others.
When arthritis pain comes on suddenly or surprises me while reaching or walking, I’ll let out a low, “ouch.” If the hit is intense, I often hold my breath until it’s past then release by making a loud exhale sound. And many times, I mutter, “It hurts, it hurts, it hurts,” repeating it several times as though I’m chasing it away. For some reason, I tend to feel better when acknowledging the pain than not.
Could there be a medical theory behind this or is it part of the craziness that accompanies a day in the life of arthritis?
Thank you for reading and posting! Your words about wanting to understand is something all of us struggle with. I've addressed this somewhat in my blog, "Understanding Arthritis" (9.22.10) and plan to write more in the future. I'm hopeful the readers and I can share experiences that are helpful.
When I'm at home I do alot of loud exhaling, but I guess now that I think about it, I just grimace here too. I wouldn't want to look like a wimp! Really, I'm having a very hard time adjusting to the new me. I've had pain off and on for years but was never diagnosed. I am RA neg so that makes lots of doctors shoo you away. I finally found a Rhuemy that took my elevated sed rate and my complaints seriously. She xray'd my hands and feet. There were no erosions yet, thank God. But I have severe osteopenia. That was almost a year ago and I just get steadily worse. My inflammatory markers stay elevated and I am now at the point that I had to take a leave of absence from work. I'm 39 with two kids and I just couldn't handle taking care of patients, my kids, my husband and myself. I'm currently on 15mg of methotrexate, voltaren, prednisone 5mg, folic acid 3mg and I'm still miserable. Remicade will be the next step, once it's approved by the insurance.
So in answer to your question... I spend every day trying to hide my pain, deny my pain. But at the same time, I would love for my family, friends and coworkers to understand my pain. Understand why I needed time off. Understand why I skipped Girls' Night out. Understand why mommy takes a nap every day after work. Understand why I cry for what seems like no reason at all. Understand that I feel like I whine all the time and that I'm failing my family. Understand that I'm afraid that I will never get better and that this is the best it will ever be.
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