It's a F.A.C.T.

Where do you find support and understanding?

By Annette Beach

Do you know others, close to your age, struggling with the same aches and pains as you? If so, where did you meet?

Are they challenged daily by arthritis or another physical illness affecting their activities of daily living? Do they experience side effects from treatments or lack the abilities to perform some of the simplest tasks? How do they cope? Do you turn to each other for support and understanding when nobody else gets it?

F.A.C.T. is an acronym for Friends with Arthritis Coping Together. It’s a support group I started in 1999 for young adults with rheumatic diseases and/or disabilities.

My initial thoughts were to reach out to people between the ages of 18 and 44 (the defined ages of young adults), because the first 12 years of living with my disease were the loneliest. It seemed there was no one near my age facing the same challenges as me; being newly married, having a young family and working toward a career. When I was truthful and opened up about my arthritis, people often denied my diagnosis and stated I was too young. That in itself made me feel isolated, like an outcast. 

In the beginning, F.A.C.T. targeted a specific age group, but I soon realized people of all ages were interested and our commonalities were enough to form a bond. Everyone had something to offer whether it was experience, understanding, wit or all of the above. Not to mention, shortly after starting F.A.C.T., it occurred to me, at my rate of aging, soon I’d be too old for my own group, so I changed our motto. Now we say, “If you feel you are too young to have arthritis, you’re welcome to join us.” 

My favorite part of F.A.C.T. is the “F”. The friendships I’ve made over the past 11 years are priceless and many will be lifelong! We not only support each other, but our families as well. Our meetings are closed to outsiders, however we do have traditional gatherings and events to include families and friends. It’s comforting for our spouses, children and others to know they are not alone either.

For some, the term “support group” carries a stigma, making people feel as though they’re weak or needy, creating awkwardness or doubt. I’m not sure why because support groups are usually based on experience, education and a willingness to help each other. To me, that’s empowering!

In addition to F.A.C.T., I am involved with a national group called, Arthritis Introspective, whose purpose is to provide arthritis support systems across the country. I can honestly say the leadership, support groups and friends involved are far from weak or needy. Everyone has at least one form of arthritis with multiple challenges, but I guarantee, these are some of the strongest people on earth!  

How do you feel about support groups? Are you involved (whether it’s in person or online)? Do you have a preference?

To find an arthritis support group in your area, or to start your own, contact your local Arthritis Foundation office.