Now that April is behind me, I’m ready to confess, I spent the month celebrating my Silver Anniversary, in private. It’s hard for me to believe, 25 years ago – April 1986 – I was diagnosed with Rheumatoid Arthritis, or RA, and began a new life with ‘Arthur.’
The reason I chose to celebrate privately was to analyze this period of my life to determine if in fact my diagnosis was a reason to celebrate or if the past quarter of a century was outweighed by heartache and disappointment. Being told I have an “extremely aggressive” form of RA at the age of 21, incorporating high risk medications into my daily routine, becoming a regular in the operating room, being forced to accept physical loss as well as the ability to perform simple tasks, has changed my life in ways I never expected!
Although my years have been a never-ending series of extreme ups, downs and uncertainties, overall, I will admit – as contradictory as this may sound – the silver lining holding this timeframe together shines brighter than my darkest nights, allowing me to look back and appreciate my past. As I reflect, my heart overflows with overwhelming memories of trials, courage, obstacles, strengths and most of all, an unexpected, extreme gratitude for all who’ve crossed my path, inspiring me to continue on with my journey.
Writing this blog, I was somewhat hesitant to use the word, ‘celebrate’ to describe this period of time often referred to as one of life’s milestones. I was concerned many of you would disagree or challenge my chosen term. However, after the month I’ve had, it is the most appropriate word to accompany my Silver Anniversary with ‘Arthur.’
In a weird yet wonderful way, this unwanted diagnosis is credited for making me the wife, mother and person I am today. I’ve spent a great deal of time thinking about those I call my family and friends. I’m surrounded by an extraordinary group of people – many whom I never would have met had it not been for my relationship with ‘Arthur.’ This illness has heightened my awareness of what really matters in life, strengthened my faith and given me the peace of mind to live each day to the fullest.
My month began with a weakened and worn out immune system, causing me to seek medical attention from numerous doctors, adding medication to my daily regiment and the need to undergo additional, dreaded testing. Having uncommon health challenges serves not only as a reminder, but a tremendous comfort, knowing I have an elite medical team focused on my care and well-being.
A few days ago, my friend Karen gave me a silver necklace engraved with the Serenity Prayer to remind me I am not alone in my struggles. Not only was this a surprise gift, it also marked a day in my history. Karen did not realize this was the same date as my diagnosis 25 years earlier. What makes this even more special is, Karen knows firsthand the meaning of challenges. We’ve been friends our entire lives. As adults, we continue to parallel one and other. Being the eldest, I’ve often said, “I taught Karen how to walk” – which contains a bit of irony in itself. Karen uses a scooter because of multiple sclerosis, while RA is the reason I’m the owner of a wheelchair.
Being able to live the life I’ve been given is definitely a reason to use the word, ‘celebrate.’ Happy 25th Anniversary, Arthur … Cheers to the rest of our life!
And I too believe that many blessings come from this challenge and that my RA has made me into the person God intended for me to be. It allows me to feel more compassion towards those who are hurting both physically and mentally.
For Sue Ann, I say - the first few years are the hardest, insofar as you are trying to get your medications to a level that they work and you are not constantly in pain. Make sure your doctor is being aggressive with your medication. I've taken Enbrel for 10 years and it works wonders for me - but your body might need something else.
For others - look for the beauty in each and every day. And when you can't, because "life sucks" sometimes (I wrote some songs about that, so pardon my French), give it over to God and let Him carry it for you on that particular day. Live one day at a time - and live it to the fullest!
Happy Anniversary, Annette, and to all of my other arthritis buddies!
Maybe I'll throw myself a party next year to celebrate my "other" 40th birthday! LOL
Thanks for reading and posting your comments. I hope to address some of your concerns in upcoming blogs. I've touched on some of the subjects in the past, but always willing to revisit them because the life changes that accompany arthritis are ongoing and never ending. So many of the readers and bloggers can relate to your experiences.
My hope is that you recognize you are not alone and among friends on this site.
Keep Faith ...
This is my first time here, posting a comment.
October of 2011, will be my 13th. year anniversary of my diangosis of osteoarthritis. Although I've had a CTScan and an MRI, they don't show much except soft tissue. I've tried most medications and many forms of physiotherapy.
My lumbar spine is the worst part of my OA, to the point where, if I lean forward, I feel instant nausea. I take Cymbalta which is for depression and also helps reduce pain.
I can't have surgery either for my lower back or piriformis syndrome (my sciatic nerve, runs through the piriformis muscle, deep inside my right buttock underneath my glutes.
OA has effected me emotionally and psychologically. Having mulitple types of mental illness, makes it harder for me to deal with ongoing, relenting pain.
I can honestly say that I'm not happy with life, mostly due to pain. I have to watch everything I do and how I do it. I can only walk, sit and stand, for a very brief period of time and have to sit in a reclining position to eat and type.
I am seeing a psychiatrist, an absolutely wonderful man, a total gem who's been helping me now for a little over a year, with many issues stemming from my past which have followed me into my future.
If there WAS a way to live my life with MUCH-reduced pain, I know I could enjoy life....more than I presently do.
I am too celebrating 25 years of living with RA. Its been very painful and challenging but life goes on with a positive attitude and lots of motivation!!!!
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