Everyone diagnosed with a chronic illness takes on added burdens. The weight of the load depends on the severity of the illness, the impact of specific losses and the length of time it has to be carried. Combining that with the desire to live a somewhat normal life, dealing with everyday occurrences, along with other life experiences, simple math proves the load only gets heavier!
I blame arthritis for the loss of many activities and unwanted changes in my life, but there’s one skill I never lost because I never had it – the ability to draw! In a recent attempt to illustrate my daily burdens, I tried to draw a picture of myself. Instead of making my point, my ‘lack of artistic talent’ became a distraction, causing giggles and unrelated comments.
Starting over, I drew a giant stick figure and labeled it “me,” then added simple shapes to the areas of my body affected by severe rheumatoid arthritis, or RA. Each shape represented the added weight I must carry each day with every activity, whether it’s simple or not. In an effort to not be overly dramatic, I kept the weights between 1and 10 pounds, noting 32 operations, 13 total joint replacements, limbs with limited range of motion, lost mobility, morning stiffness, swollen painful areas – both permanent and temporary – crooked fingers, old damage, new damage and damage on top of damage.
As the page filled, I noticed there was empty space at the top and bottom. After a short pause, the empty space is what overwhelmed me the most!
Making a notation at the top near my head then another toward the bottom, next to my disfigured feet, I left the amount of the weight blank. Calculating the total weight of the overall burdens my feet have to carry is fairly simple – add the weights. The challenge was determining a fair weight for each foot given their deformed, swollen shapes.
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