URGH!
Once again, Arthur rounded up it’s gang of thieves and stole yet another character trait which was important to me! While there is a bit of sadness, I’m more consumed with anger than anything else because I feel cheated and the loss was unnecessary!
Because of severe rheumatoid arthritis, I have taken treatments with the side effect of hair loss. In my blog, “Losing Your Hair” (4/15/09), I shared specific experiences and talked about how the loss affected me. Reading your comments helped me realize, I’m not alone when it comes to issues involving hair. Many of you have had similar concerns or fears. When writing “Daily Routines” (9/7/10), I wrote about my friend who not only lost her hair (by cutting it off), but her joyful demeanor.
Reactions to hair loss does not mean a person is vain, it’s more about individuality and the loss thereof. Everyone’s hair is unique – an expression of oneself. It can be cut and styled to make an impression, give identity, simplicity, whatever! The saying is, “If you look good, you feel good.” Most will agree hair is responsible for setting (or changing) moods. When you’re caught in the rain or an unexpected windstorm, what’s the first thing you do after finding shelter? Do you reach for your hair or seek a mirror? Be honest.
For six years, I took arthritis treatments that caused sections of my hair to fall out, resulting in bald spots all over my head. Since my hair has a natural curl (often described as a ‘messy’ look) and I kept it longer, hiding the spots while the hair grew back was fairly easy. However, there was one area in the back, measuring the size of a half dollar that refused to grow until after I’d stopped the treatments. When the hair finally grew back, it had a different texture and was very uncooperative.
Regardless of the styles or cuts, I was never able to get the back to blend with the sides. In addition, the hair in ‘that spot’ would not grow as long as the rest, causing an extremely uneven (ratty) look from behind – we’re talking a four-inch difference in the length. After eleven unsuccessful years of trying to tame the rat, it was time for me to face the truth and admit defeat.
Tuesday, I had an appointment with my long time stylist who understands and is sensitive to hair loss caused by medication. She listened to my desperate ideas of cover-up and gave consideration to all of my suggestions, but in the end, the only real way to improve the look was to cut it short-er.
Feeling forced to agree to a shoulder length cut that I did not want (and do not like!) my heart raced each time the scissors closed. I’m not opposed to short or shoulder length hairstyles. In fact, the one I have now looks good! But in truth, I’m not happy. I want my long hair back!! Knowing the back will never grow longer than it is right now and I have to accept ‘this is as long as it gets,’ makes me a little sad, but mostly angry! Arthritis has already taken over my body … Why does it have to take my hair, too?!!!?
At some point, I’ll accept my new look, but for now, I want to throw a tantrum! I refuse to accept compliments. If someone wants to tell me they liked my long hair better or say, “arthritis sucks,” I’ll take it. Otherwise, stay quiet. I don’t want to hear, “it’s not that short,” “at least you still have hair” or comments about it looking healthier. Not now.
I’m thinking about making a T-shirt that says, “Good or bad, do not say a word about my hair or I’ll have to kill you!”
What has Arthur stolen from you? Do others understand the impact of the loss and the emotions that follow? Have you ever tried to tally up the losses or are you better off not knowing?
I've been where you're at and it's not fun. In response to your comment, I wrote a blog titled, "Medication Meltdown". It's scheduled to go up this week. Please check my index page by clicking on 'The Tin Mom Blog' in the left hand column above.
I hope it helps!
I used to pay big bucks to get the spiral perm on my long hair many, many years ago. Now I have a short, easy-to-manage, haircut which I'm told is "cute" on me. UGH!
Even tho we've never met, we seem to think alike. If you say you like my long hair better, we'll be friends for life - haha!
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