It goes without saying, there’s nothing like a good friend! Someone to share the good and bad, who’s there when you need them, always willing to listen or lend a helping hand, a person by your side who knows when to laugh, cry or leave you alone. Bonds created by a combination of trust, love and commonalities.
Friendship can be the lifeline between holding onto sanity and going completely bonkers. Have you ever experienced pain, loss, confusion or loneliness to an extreme level then felt it soften because of the presence, sound or even the thought of a friend?
Regardless of the circumstances in your life, whether it’s a health issue, family matter, a conflict in marriage/relationship, finances, all of the above or another, who do you turn to in a time of crisis? Do you have a single confidant, a common group, the medical field, clergy or determine the person of choice based on your time of need? What is your back-up plan if the first person you call is not available?
Several years ago, I had a heart episode and needed help. Getting to the phone, I called a friend who knows my medical history, but she wasn’t home. So I called another close friend and got her answering machine. Realizing an added dose of anxiety was not good for the mix, I gave in and called my husband at work, only to find, he was out to lunch (this was before cell phones were the norm). After deciding on a reliable fourth person to call, I dialed and got a busy signal. Laying the phone in my lap, I began to laugh out of disbelief. I was in need and rather than rely on my own independence, I reached out to – not one, but four people – and got nobody! (In this case, ‘Laughter was the best medicine’ because it was calming and relieved my symptoms. But it is not recommended!)
Connecting with people who truly understand or who’ve experienced similar situations can be vital to our health and wellbeing. In 1999, I attended my first conference for young adults with arthritis and felt an immediate connection. Although everyone was a stranger, there was a nonverbal understanding that led to a bond of friendships, filled with strengths and support that couldn’t be found in a prescription or medical office. Recognizing the importance of this connection among friends, I’ve continued to attend annual events that surround me with people who truly know what it’s like to walk in my shoes. See blog Support Groups and Conferences, 4/22/09.
Last week, I attended an arthritis gathering of approximately 90 people. Upon entering the group, half were considered old friends, the other half new – by that evening, the labels were dropped and we’re all one in the same – friends!
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